Ephesians 5:32-33

“This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.”

These verses serve a summary of what has gone before in terms of marital relationships and the mutual submission of husband and wife.

The unity between a man and a wife (“one flesh”) is a great mystery, Paul writes. A mystery is something hidden but now revealed. To understand the relationship of a husband and wife needs the illumination of Christ’s relationship with the Church.

These two things, the human marital relationship and the relationship of Christ to His Body, illuminate and explain each other . It is not surprising that the Church is described as the Bride of Christ (see for example Revelation 19).

Christ is the Head of His church and He exercises that by first dying for it. The headship of a husband with respect to his wife starts with the husband laying his life down, and only then can he exercise leadership in a loving relationship.

When we see the deep love and united vision of a husband and a wife, our eyes are opened to the unity that exists between Christ and the church.

This interplay between the two realities is shown by the way Paul freely changes from one to the other in this entire section.

So Paul concludes with the exhortation for each man to love his wife and for each wife to respect her husband.

Though Paul uses different words - love and respect- the illustration of Christ and the church shows that they are the same idea in practice.

Christ died for his church; but the church dies to Christ in order to be born again. Both husband and wife lay down everything for the other.

Paul again uses the word agape as the love that husbands should have for their wives. This is the love that God shows towards us, his people. It is the unfailing love that gives regardless of the worthiness of the recipient. Husbands must seek to love their wives with the agape love of God.

Wives are to respect their husbands. The word here is phobos . It literally means fear. This is not the terror kind of fear, but the kind of fear with which we are told we should fear God and those in authority over us. It is the respect that is given because of the status of the person.

In any event, to love a wife includes respect. Respect for a husband also involves loving them.

Key points in this verse:

• The unity of husband and wife reflect the love between Christ and His church

• Headship comes from a place of self sacrifice

• The love and respect which husbands and wives are exhorted to show overlap and become the same thing.