Ephesians 5:31

“For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

At last Paul quotes the scripture, Genesis 2:24, that he has been considering all through this discussion about husbands and wives.

This single verse is the most profound sentence describing the reality of God’s plan for marriage in all of the Bible. It is so all-encompassing that Jesus did not need to add to it in his teaching.

Genesis 2:24 comes at the completion of the creation story. The woman was created from a rib taken out of Adam. It is “for this reason” that a man and a woman are joined and become one flesh. Adam and Eve were created as “ one flesh”, and marriage is in a sense a consummation of this origin.

For Christians and Jews alike, marriage is an existential institution. It goes to the heart of what it means to be human.

Marriage, then, is more than a social construct or a convenient way of binding people together for the purpose of rearing children. It is far more than a contract between equal adults and something that can be left at will.

This verse underlies the reluctance of the church to embrace divorce.”Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:9). If a man and a woman have been joined by God as one flesh, than any divorce is a judgement that God was wrong.

The same verse speaks against adultery and the plethora of sexual sins humans have imagined. To commit adultery is to sin against one’s own spouse and therefore one’s own flesh, as well as those of the other party. In Genesis 1, creation is described as separating things that should not be mixed, but adultery is seen as a destructive force that mixes together bonds and people that should not be mixed.

Marriage in the Scriptures is always about one man and one woman. Where polygamy is practised, it is seen as destructive because it runs against the “one flesh” narrative.

Similarly, same sex “marriage” is not just an abomination, but a contradiction. A man and a woman can become one flesh, but two men or two women cannot. Therefore, to call such a relationship a marriage runs against God’s intention.

To speak of a man and a woman as being “one flesh” is not linked only to the sexual relationship or even just to the wider sense of physical intimacy that couples enjoy. To be “ one flesh” means to share the same goals, vision, and mission in life. While they may have divergent interests and abilities, they will submit their life ambitions to the Lord and to one another, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead their joint enterprise. A husband and wife should see themselves as a team called into existence by God for a purpose that is greater than their individual purposes.

An example of this might be a nurse and engineer who see as a couple mission opportunities that complement and support one another. A wife with a strong prophetic ministry might empower a husband who is pastoral, and vice versa.

For a couple to be one flesh they must first leave their father and mother. While our relationships and obligations to parents remain after we marry, we must never allow allegiances to our parents get in the way of joining to our spouse. We must leave in order to cleave, to quote from an older translation of this verse.

Parents also must allow their children to leave, letting go of their emotional ties. There is no surer way to undermine a marriage then for parents to relentlessly intervene.

Key points in this verse:

• Marriage is an expression of the original creation of Adam and eve

• Divorce is a tearing apart of the single body formed in marriage

• Adultery and other sexual sins betray our own bodies as well as those of others

• Same sex “marriage” is a contradiction in terms

• Children must leave her parents in order to be joined to their spouse