Ephesians 5:23

“For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Saviour.”

This verse raises many questions which need to be carefully thought through:

• What does it mean for the husband to be the head of the wife?
• in what ways is the headship of a husband like the headship of Christ over the church?
• How do we interpret this verse in the current culture in which women generally are more educated and more independent than in previous generations?

in Greek, the word kephale means “head”, and has a similar range of meaning to the English word. It can relate to the physical part of the body, the main part of something, a ruler, or principal officer.

to say that the husband is the head of a wife, then, is to suggest that he has authority over her. This is not an authority that is seized, demanded, or extracted by intimidation.

godly leadership or headship is a form of service in which a person gives direction in order to promote the person being led. Jesus said that the one who leads must be the servant of all (Luke 22:25-26).

Husbands exercise their authority by serving their wives. This is not pandering to every whim, but recognising what they need in order to grow in Christ and to grow as people, and then to provide what is needed.

christian headship is not demanding or self-focused, but other- focused and giving.

some people prescribe what this should look like. The husband exercises headship, they say, by managing the money, driving the car, earning the income etc. Couples should work out their own strengths, and if the wife has a better grasp of finances, she should be the one who keeps track of the money.

headship and submission are about attitudes of relating in love, not about external factors.

if we think about the authority of Christ over the church, we can apply this to the authority of husbands over their wives, since Paul makes this comparison.

christians are under the headship of Christ. To die to ourselves is the definition of discipleship. Yet, in submitting ourselves to Christ, Christians retain a high degree of autonomy and individuality. We have different ways of serving the Lord, different ways of worship, different approaches to prayer and ministry. Yet Christ is the head of all.

furthermore, Christ is not harsh in his headship. When we rebel and go our own way, He does not punish us or remove us from the Body. He waits patiently, wooing us back to him.

The leadership of Christ over the church is gentle, often descriptive rather than prescriptive. He leads us by means of suggestions and encouragement rather than by laws and regulations.

so when Paul says that the husband is the head over the wife, he is not advocating a form of domestic tyranny. Rather it is a form of service and leadership that recognises that both partners are subject to Christ, both are children of God, and both are flawed human beings.

the concept of headship in marriage, that men should take any form of leadership in the relationship, will be scorned bye our society. Individualism without any restraint is the ideology of this age. People who mock marital submission see marriage as an opt in and opt out arrangement, with no expectation of long-term commitment.

until people are prepared to submit to Christ they will not want to submit to another.

While previous generations had more rigid roles for partners in marriage, they also tended to be more committed to the permanence of the relationship. Our present age tends to see relationships as sources of personal fulfilment and hence feel no compunction in leaving when the “chemistry” is no longer there. Christian marriage emphasises the covenantal nature of the relationship, so that the head cannot function without the body, and vice versa.

key points in this verse:

• The husband is head of the wife in the same way that Christ is head of the church

• Headship is outward-directed and aims to serve the wife

• Headship is not about tyranny, but involves gentle persuasive leadership

• society scorns the concept of leadership in marriage, but it remains essential