Ephesians 5:22

“Wives be subject to your husbands as to the Lord.”

A note about Christian marriage

there is nothing in scripture anywhere that justifies domestic violence, coercive control, emotional, physical, or spiritual abuse of a wife by a husband, or vice versa. Any marriage marked by these things is outside of God’s definition of marriage. Anyone subject to abuse should consider leaving the relationship until their safety is assured.

when we consider the relationship between a husband and wife, we must remember set the instructions given in Ephesians 5:22-33 are an expansion of the general command to “ be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ..”

Wives and husbands, therefore, are to be a microcosm of the church more generally. Not only are wives to be subject to their husbands, but husbands are to be subject to their wives. That mutual submission one to the other is exactly what love looks like.

this is not a question of who gets the final say, or who looks after the money, or who does the cooking. They are such trivial issues that are not worth worrying about in this context. Each couple will likely make their own decisions on these kinds of f\matters.

to be subject to one another means that a couple will make decisions together, under the Lord. Listening prayer, reading the Word together, honest and open discussion together, these are the tools that build a relationship.

Before wives submit to their husbands, they must first submit to the Lord. This verse should not be taken to mean “ be subject to your husband as if he is the Lord.” Rather it means, “submit to your husband in the same way that you submit to the Lord.”

Wives submit to the Lord because they know that He loves us and wants the best for us. The Christian life is a journey of faith, growing in understanding of the fact that He can be trusted to care for us in every way .

when wives submit to their husband as to Christ, they do so in the expectation that he loves them and cares for them, that he can be trusted to be faithful .

The more that the couple love each other and surrender to each other, the more it is possible for the wife to submit to the husband.

for a wife to be submissive means that she refuses to be in control of the husband. Many women are influenced by the Jezebel spirit, a demon which seeks to undermine and control. Submission is the opposite attitude of control, and it is the key to overcoming the Jezebel spirit.

Whenever a wife finds herself being controlling or manipulative, she should repent and seek the Lord. When we are subjecting ourselves to one another all forms of manipulation, coercion, and control must be avoided.

key points in this verse:

• The biblical pattern of marriage requires couples to love one another and surrender their desire for control

• wives need to submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord

• the Jezebel spirit seeks to undermine and control