Ephesians 4:32

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Having written about the deeds of malice, anger, and slander, exhorting us to take these things off, Paul now tells us what put on in their place.

we are to be kind to one another.

kindness could be described as love in action. Love is not a romantic feeling or a favourable disposition to another person. It is practical.

to be kind is to see what a person needs and to help them to gain it, whether in the form of a gift, through encouraging words, or by practical help.

to be kind means to be giving. We are concerned about the needs of others just as much as we are concerned about our own needs.

Of the early church, it was said, “there were no needy people amongst them for from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles feet, and it was distributed to anyone in need.” (Acts 4:34-35). This is kindness on a big scale, people working to ensure that nobody is left out.

we are to be compassionate to one another . Some translations render this word as tenderhearted.

To be compassionate or tenderhearted to others is to empathise with their emotions and to react appropriately.

kindness can be performed in a mechanical way, out of duty or habit. Tenderheartedness or compassion, demands an emotional involvement. We need to feel the heart of another person, to enter into their head space.

there are many so-called caring services these days. However the caring cuts out at 5 pm or whenever the service closes. People working in these fields are coached in not getting too close, establishing boundaries, and so on.

While there is a place for professional detachment, Paul is encouraging us to go deeper with one another. He wants us to be attached not detached, to be emotive in our caring and not leave it all behind at an office, taking weekends off.

when I see a Christian brother or sister in distress, I must be kind and tenderhearted, reacting out of compassion and love.

we are to forgive each other just as Christ has forgiven us.

forgiveness is the antidote to bitterness.

forgiveness is letting go of offences that others have committed against us in the past.

when we come to Christ seeking forgiveness, He wipes the slate clean. There is no longer any outstanding debt. There is not even a record kept of the sin. He no longer holds anything against us.

forgiveness means that we no longer hold a sin against the person who has offended us. We let go of the hurt, the anger, and the sense that we are owed something .

our forgiveness of others must be unconditional, just as his forgiveness of us Is unconditional. He does not wait for us to apologise to forgive, and neither should we.

some might ask, “What about the need to confess and repent in order to be forgiven?” The truth is that confession is for our benefit not for God’s. It brings us to reconciliation rather than forgiveness, fellowship rather than exoneration.

when we forgive someone we are not saying that the offence was not significant. We are rather conforming our own attitude to that of the Father who chooses to forgive for the sake of fellowship.

some sins are too severe to just “ forgive and forget” because the hurt to our soul is too great. Over time, we receive healing for our pain, and one key step in that healing is to forgive.

to forgive those who sin against us is to acknowledge that we too have been forgiven much. To forgive is to recognise that we have no right to keep a record of the wrongs of others.

Key points in this verse

• We are to be kind and compassionate to others. Love has to be practical and exercised from the heart, not merely as a duty

• To forgive others is to imitate Christ who forgives us

• Forgiveness means to let go of the right to be offended

• we must forgive regardless of whether the person expresses remorse

• forgiveness means that we do not keep score