Ephesians 4:29

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that is May benefit those who listens.”

The words that come from our mouths reflect the reality of what is in our hearts. Just as it is humanly impossible for thieves to become generous givers (v.28), this change of heart that leads to a change in our speech can only come through the power of the Holy Spirit.

The word translated “unwholesome” in the NIV actually means corrupt, rotten, or putrid. Paul users this word for effect. We could say “ disgusting” if we wanted to be more accurate to his intent.

There are many forms of “ unwholesome talk” or” putrid words” that come from the mouths of Christians. We need to ensure that our words reflect the glory and purity of God.

Swearing is one such area. The casual dropping of words that were once considered beneath contempt and not suitable for speaking in public has become standard speech for many people including Christians.

Gossip is based on the actions and supposed motivations of other people. Gossip is always negative and seeks to pull down the standing of other people. We need to build up rather than pull down. Gossip is nearly always false.

Slander is a direct attack on the reputation of another person. It might be lies about what another person has done, or a telling of just part of the truth. We need to be careful that the words we speak about others are both true and build up their reputation amongst the brothers and sisters in the church.

Lies are a repudiation of the truth. Christians are supposed to be people of the truth as we follow Christ who said “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.” We live in a post- truth age, but God is still requires us to speak only words of truth. Lying takes various forms in which we try to promote our own self interest at the expense of facts, and often the expense of other people.

Our unwholesome talk can take the form of inciting others to violence or to hatred. We promote false stereotypes that result in particular individuals or groups suffering unfairly.

There are two keys to not letting unfair unwholesome talk come out of our mouths .

First, we need to let the Holy Spirit completely renew our minds. If we don't think it we can't say it. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conformto the pattern of this world,but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. “

We musttake seriously the doctrines that people bear the image of God, and that God loves all people. As a follower of Christ, how can I use words to injure a person for whom Christ died?

When we find that ungodly thoughts go through our heads, we need to confess them to the Lord and ask him to change our brains.

The second key is to apply a filter to our speech. Some people just blurt out every thought that goes through their heads. We need to think before we speak, and ask ourselves whether we need to say this thought out loud, or whether we should speak it in a more godly way.

We should only speak what is helpful for building up others.

In our conversations we should seek to build up the people we are speaking with or about. This doesn't mean that everything has to be a kind of mindless positivity. it does mean that we must use a words to edify, exhort, and encourage. Our conversations are opportunities to help others to go deeper in Christ, to seek positive choices not negative.

We are to build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Our words and conversations need to be other focused. Just as thieves are required to turn their attention from getting to giving (v.28), so all of us who speak and listen must turn our attention to someone else.

It is often noted that most people engage in conversation with their focus on themselves. While another person is speaking, we are looking for what we are to say next.

If we are trying to build others up according to their need, then we will be looking for what the person is needing rather than what can we say next. We listen to the words, the tone of voice, to what is not being said. How would Jesus respond to this person?

This posture in relating to others turns us around so that in our speaking and listening we are seeking to love our neighbour.

if I'm consciously wanting to love this person I am speaking with, then there will be no space, no reason, no desire for putrid or corrupt talk. All that will be in my head is how can I help this person?

Key points in this verse:

• Unwholesome talk is rotten or corrupt talk, and it dishonours God

• Corrupt talk takes many forms from swearing to gossip and slander

• God wants me to focus on the needs of the person I am talking to, not on my own need

• When we seek to love our neighbour in conversation, it benefits everyone who hears it